


Is That A Promise Or A Threat

by rnedagemacaroni



Series: Domestication is Key [3]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Eridan Isn't Really Helping, Established Relationship, Humanstuck, M/M, Poor Karkat, Sollux Just Wants To Get Laid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-28
Updated: 2020-10-28
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:09:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27250981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rnedagemacaroni/pseuds/rnedagemacaroni
Summary: In which the universe doesn't want you to get laid.
Relationships: Eridan Ampora/Sollux Captor
Series: Domestication is Key [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1928275
Comments: 1
Kudos: 26





	Is That A Promise Or A Threat

It had been a few months since you and Eridan had finally stopped being repressed idiots and confessed you liked each other and you had never been happier. 

Well as happy as someone like you gets really. 

The two of you were keeping your relationship quiet for now, you come from a small town after all, something like this is a 50/50 crapshoot on how people would take it and you just didn’t want to deal with that yet. You did tell your best friend, Karkat, though and that was turning into an ordeal to sit through. All of his high and mighty I-Told-You-So's and shit like that. 

You didn’t really mind, though, you knew he was happy for you so you sat through his ranting and raving about how he saw it coming a mile away and how you were dumb for not noticing sooner. 

“Hey, KK,” You said as you and him played Zombies mode in Call of Duty in your bedroom, “How much longer am I going to have to listen to you bragging, just as a rough estimate so I know how long to tune you out for.” 

“You’re just mad that I, in all of my infinite wisdom, was privy to your feelings before even you were,” He said haughtily, “Maybe you should be more in tune with your feelings, Sollux.” 

“KK, shut the hell up.” You readjust yourself on the floor so you can jab his side with your foot. 

“Get your nasty feet away from me,” He swats your foot away, “Beanpole.” 

“Nubby-nuts.” 

“Bifuricated loser.” 

“Martyr short stack over here.” 

“Fuck you, Sollux.” He huffs. 

You laugh, “Flattered as I am, no thank you.” 

“It’ll be a miracle if Eridan can stand your sarcastic ass for much longer.” 

“Well good thing I’m great in bed then,” You smirk, “At least that will balance out my shitty attitude.” 

He makes a disgusted face at you, “Of all the things I never needed to know I think that makes the top of the list.” 

“But see, now that you know it, you’ll never forget it.” You laugh at him, jabbing him in the side with your foot again. 

He slaps you away again, “Do that again and I’ll make you regret it.” 

You raise an eyebrow at him, amused, “Oh yeah?” You say pausing the game and setting your controller down, “How about I beat you to it, KK.” 

He was about to say something, but you suddenly jump across the short distance between you and him and pin him to the floor, “Say uncle, KK, say it.” You tell him as you start to tickle him, you always knew how ticklish he was and you used it to your advantage frequently. 

He starts laughing and squirming, trying to get away from you, “S-Sollux, stop! Fuck you!” He starts trying to hit at you, but you grab his hands and pin them above him and keep tickling him with your free hand, “I don’t hear you saying uncle.” 

“Uncle goddammit, Uncle!” He shouts kicking at you as best he can, which really isn’t effective as you’re sitting on top of him. 

“You know I don’t really believe you mean uncle.” You smirk as you keep tickling him. 

“I-I mean it, uncle, uncle!” He manages through his laughter. 

You were about to keep teasing the smaller man when a voice came from the doorway that made you both stop, “Should I be jealous or is this just somethin’ I’m goin’ to have to get used to?” 

You both look up to the doorway where Eridan was suddenly standing, watching you with a raised eyebrow. 

Oops, you forgot he was coming over. Oh well, it’s not like he hasn’t seen worse between you and Karkat. 

“Oh, hey ED,” You said letting go of the Cancer underneath you, “How long have you been standing there?” 

“Long enough,” He says, walking into the room and setting his bag down by your desk like he always does, “Do I need to be worried?” He asks playfully. 

“You might.” You laugh a bit as you stand up off of Karkat, letting him get up as well. 

“You know, Kar, I’m not really good at sharin’ what’s mine.” He teases the smaller man. 

“I hate both of you,” Karkat huffs as he fixes his sweater, “Really.” 

“You’re going to hate us even more because we’re about to engage in sloppy make outs, so you best get the hell out of here KK.” You say as you walk over to Eridan and let the Aquarius pull you flush against him. 

He makes yet another disgusted face, “I’m definitely leaving, thanks for warning...” He says as he starts to gather his things. 

You smirk as you stick your leg out behind you and trip him as he heads for the door. He catches himself and glares at you, “Really?” 

“Sorry,” You say, looking back at him, your arms wrapped around Eridan’s shoulders, “I can’t help these long beanpole legs I guess.” 

He glares at you, “Remind me again why I’m friends with you?” 

“Because I’m the only one who will put up with your shitty personality.” 

“Right...” He rolls his eyes as he readjusts his bag on his shoulder, “Call me when you’re done with whatever disgusting beast with two backs performance you’re going to do so we can finish playing Zombies, you’re the only one who has it besides me and I hate playing online with people I don’t know.” 

“Well then hurry up and get out so I can go spread eagle for my boyfriend.” 

Even Eridan had to cover his mouth to muffle the laugh that threatened to come out of him at the absolute look of repulsion on Karkat’s face. 

“You are absolutely without a shadow of a doubt the most horrible, terrible, disgusting, awful best friend on the planet and I’m leaving,” He says as he finally actually does walk to the door, “I better see you online later.” He throws over his shoulder as he leaves, shutting the door closed behind him. 

“You know some day he may actually get fed up with your teasin’...” Eridan says as he slides his hands down to your waist, pulling you up against him again. 

“We’ve known each other since we were almost still in diapers,” You say as you pull him down close to you so your lips are almost touching, “If he hasn’t gotten sick of me by now, he’s not going to, now shut up and kiss me, I wasn’t joking about going spread eagle for you.” 

He smirks and obliges, leaning down and pressing his lips to yours as he slides his hands from your hips to your backside. You nip at his lip and suddenly the kiss deepens and becomes a battle of tongues as you start to step backwards, heading towards the bed. Eridan follows and once you get to the bed he pushes you down on it as he climbs on top of you, diving straight back in to kissing you deeply. 

You started working on undoing his belt and pants, relishing the way his breath picked up pace a little, his excitement becoming apparent. You smirk into the kiss and right as you’re about to slide your hand into his pants your bedroom door opens again, no knock or anything, as Mituna peeks in. 

“Hey Thollux, can I-” He pauses as he sees you and Eridan on the bed. 

Eridan instantly pulls away, blushing furiously as you feel your own face burning red, “Mituna, get the fuck out of here!” You yell, “Jesus fucking Christ, haven’t you heard of fucking knocking!?” 

He smirks and bites his lip to keep from laughing, “Thorry~!” He leaves without another word to you or Eridan, but you can hear him calling down the hall to wherever your father was in the house, “Dad! Thollux and Eridan are having thex!” 

“SOLLUXANDER M. CAPTOR, DOOR OPEN AND HANDS OFF EACH OTHER!” You heard your father yell. 

You groan and fall back on the bed, covering your face with your hands, “I hate my family!” 

Eridan climbs off of you, redoing his pants and belt before sitting next to you. 

“UGH,” You say as you sit up, “Seriously, it should not be this difficult to get laid...” 

“Well if you would have listened to me in the first place and came over to my house instead, we wouldn’t be havin’ this problem.” He says, crossing his arms over his chest. 

You glare at him slightly, “Shut up, ED, seriously, you’re not helping at all in making this situation even remotely better.” 

“I wasn’t tryin’ to make it better; I was tryin’ to make sure you knew you were a fuckin’ idiot and that you should learn to listen to me more.” 

“You know what, ED, whatever!” You say as you look at him, “Tomorrow then, it’s a Saturday so my dad won’t care if I’m out late.” 

“We’ll see,” Eridan leans over and kisses you quickly, “Who knows, I may not let you come back tomorrow night,” He smirks at you, “I may just keep you locked up in my room all night long.” 

You can’t help but smirk back at him, “That better be a promise or a threat and, honestly, you better follow through on both accounts.” 

“Ready your ass, Captor, because come this time tomorrow, you won’t be movin’ much.” He leans in to kiss you again and this time you grab his shirt and hold the kiss for much longer than the last one. 

“I look forward to it.” You say as you pull back. 

“Sollux that door better be open!” Your dad calls from down the hall again. 

You groan, “Seriously, tomorrow can’t come fast enough.” You say as you get up and open your door reluctantly. 

“Good things come to those who wait, isn’t that what they always say?” 

“I’m a millennial, ED, I demand instant gratification.” 

He couldn’t help, but laugh at that and you had the foresight to look only mildly insulted by it. 

**Author's Note:**

> I promise I haven't forgotten or given up on this series.


End file.
